(If only her friends did the same.) And if you want Mom involved with your care, then make sure you're ready not to mind what she blabbers about.My best friend is 42 and he just broke up with his boyfriend who is the same age. They have nothing in common and I can't get a clear answer from him about what he sees in this kid. I don't believe in this sort of relationship, but putting my personal differences aside, this is not the time to say anything. The student-teacher thing usually doesn't fare well and if she were to date you, she is either a gold digger (I'm assuming as a teacher you aren't a millionaire) or she has daddy issues, none of which are attractive. This is no more than each of them saying f*ck you to each other. They have tons of sex with the young and ample to make up for the passion they presumably have been missing the past few years. I work on Capitol Hill and don't have financial issues, but I am not attracted to men my age, I like them older. I find them stable and reliable, except they don't seem to respect me. Her persistence says you won't talk her out of TMI regardless.But if I'm right about her motives, then it's more unchecked compulsion than conscious choice -- which means you'd best safeguard any of your own body news.
The upper hand is a matter of emotional makeup, not age, as is the potential for taking advantage ("gold-diggers," anyone? I do agree age disparities grow increasingly consequential as couples age -- but I don't believe that warrants recoiling from anything that might be construed as approval.Dear Carolyn: I hope you can help resolve a disagreement between my mother and me.When someone we know is sick, my mother shares what I feel is too much information. It can also lead to knockdown, drag out fights over politics and religion, two sensitive topics. Tara G, Long Island This is one of the best questions I have ever received. I wished when my parents divorced my dad brought home some young cool chick instead of my step-mother and it would have been even better if my mom had some hot eye candy around. You sound like a smart, determined girl who should put her energies into her career and friendships, not some guy who is looking to appease his own needs and you might want to think about the "different reasons" you assume a "stable and reliable" man thinks you're after him for. I know you are intrigued because she holds the opposite beliefs and perhaps you think this can make for stimulating conversation. I went to American University and I too always liked older guys, reason being I had issues and so do you. No one told me that so take my advice, find your own stability and enjoy making your way to the top of Capitol Hill.